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Saturday, 16 December 2006
Newborn Ameen
Two weeks old
Six weeks old
Monday, 16 October 2006
It seems funny that he is here and at the same time it's like he's always been here. The baby was considerate enough to stop trying to get out for the week. He's a cool kid, I'm excited to meet him. I had a doctor's appointment last week on tuesday and the midwife said I was 3cm dilated and that I could have the baby any time. Anytime has been a week. I have another appointment tommorow with a non-stress test for the baby, hopefully it will be my last appointment. Thursday, 5 October 2006
My news is mixed across the board, things are good but there are some things that are very sad. I’ll start with the good news, Khaled is coming next week! Originally it was supposed to be Tuesday but now we aren’t sure what day, but it will be next week inshallah. He had an appointment this morning at the embassy and they took his passport and told him to come in tomorrow to pick it up with the visa stamped in it and some packet he hands over to immigration when he gets to the US. Then he has to figure some things out at work and he will be on his way. Bad news, my Grandmother Um Nazih died yesterday. Allah Yir7hama. She’s my dad’s mother. It was really a shock for everyone, because she seemed fine. My dad had just talked to her on the phone a couple days before and she said she felt fine and that she was fasting. He told her not to fast and to take it easy. Also my aunt’s said the couple days that past before they had seen her everyday and had dinner and went to the Mina boardwalk with her the night before. She was a very strong and independent woman and lived through a lot. She still drove and did whatever she wanted to do. I’m glad I got to know her these last couple years. My family has been to Lebanon twice in the last 4 years so everyone still has fresh memories and feels a connection to her. It’s been tough for my dad because he couldn’t go to Lebanon for her funeral today. He would have never made it in time because of the flights and the time difference. Last night Mom, Feda, and me just like sat in the living room for hours in silence, every once in awhile listening to dad in his office making different phone calls to family members all night. It was like we were frozen just sitting there staring into space. We listened to him tell his youngest sister who lives in Australia what happened, I would have never known what to say or been strong enough to say it. I don’t think it has really sunk in yet to me that she is really gone, that’s the thing about being so far away from it all. Since we don’t get to see the funeral or the mourning it’s hard to come to terms with it and view it as something that really happened. In the same day I was talking to Khaled about how his appointment at the embassy was, and how my grandmother’s funeral was. Subhanallah.
Today was my last day at work. It’ll be nice to finally just relax and be lazy. Even though it was a rather boring job, I’m glad I had it because it really made the weeks go by quickly and I think it helped me to not turn into a big blob of pregnancy. I met some nice people, and learned how to function in society again, which is something I was having a tough time dealing with before. Even though my stomach is larger than life (seems that way to me at least), I can still move around pretty well, and I don’t waddle, I haven’t had any swelling or whatever alhamdulillah. The only problem I do have is this mysterious pain underneath my ribs, it gets worse by the day, everyday I look at the place that it hurts fully expecting to see a big bruise there someday. Last weekend I worked on fixing up the room. I wiped down everything in the room and cleared out a lot of junk from the closet to make room for some baby stuff to be hung up. Sunday, Safwan and me put together the crib and moved the furniture around into the right places. What’s left is some organizing clothes into the right drawers and some final touches here and there. I didn’t put the linens on the crib yet either, I could have but I wanted to wash them first because they smell like the vinyl bag they came in. I need to buy some curtains too. Just when I felt all the major stuff was done and I was getting used to the idea of being in this room with the baby and Khaled, my mom said I should move into the room next to it. That room is twice as big as this one and it makes a lot more sense, I just wish we had thought of it before we put the crib together because if we want to move we have to take it apart again. That room will actually fit all the stuff I have, whereas in this room I didn’t put the swing or the bouncer or the changing table because there was no room. Maybe I’ll wait till Khaled comes and let him move all the stuff, because I don’t feel up to cleaning and fixing anymore. I can barely stand without getting some sort of shooting pain let alone clean and fix things. I don’t know why but I’m really scared of germs and dust coming near the baby, it’s funny because I like it when little kids play with dirt and mud, even worms are fine with me. But dirt is like clean to me for some reason, much different than dust. I was the queen of the mud pies, worms and snails when I was little. I had a very free nature filled childhood, I would love for my kids to have the same. I just don’t like indoor germs I guess. I think I’m going to buy one of those air purifier thingy’s, maybe it will make me feel better. So that’s it for tonight, I’ll post again when I know what day my gorgeous husband is arriving. Who would have thought I would still be so obsessed with him after not seeing him for 3 months, sometimes I feel like a damned giddy 16 year old when it comes to him.
Posted by hebaandkhaled at 11:30 PM NZT
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Updated: Friday, 6 October 2006 5:13 PM NZT Sunday, 17 September 2006
I’m starting to actually look and feel like a pregnant lady, about time huh. I used to be kind of scared to let people see that I have a baby in my tummy, but now I’m like hey everyone get a look at this. I like looking at my stomach when the baby is moving and seeing parts of my tummy go in and out, it’s so weird. I like when he sticks his feet out and I can actually feel the shape of a little foot. He’s not the most active child in the world, which feeds into my “something must be wrong” mentality, but I have regular checkups and everything is always ok at them alhamdulillah. This new confidence mainly comes from just being around normal everyday people at work and stuff. People that don’t have evil, conspiracy, I can kill you with my look, eyes. I knew before there was something wrong with the way I felt about looking pregnant and how I wanted to hide it kind of and was really protective. But I didn’t realize why until I found I was suddenly happy about it and didn’t mind people touching my stomach or talking to it anymore. I can’t explain it properly but I understand it in my own head and I’m just glad I got to be happy about looking pregnant before it was over. Khaled isn’t here yet, the embassy requested some more things from me. I sent them the other day and I know from tracking they got there yesterday. Inshallah they will process them quickly and this visa nightmare can come to an end. I’ve been hearing lots of stories of people working on these things for years, I’m trying not to believe these stories and keep faith that the government will treat us fairly, but every time I think everything is all set and it will be easy now, some new problem comes up. Before I knew about these people who have to wait years to get their spouses here, I was almost ready to just say oh maybe it isn’t meant to be and I should just go back to Lebanon. I told my dad that, and he was the one who made me realize that nothing really that bad has happened with our case and that is going ok compared to some other people. Overall I feel ok about it though, I’m not panicking about him being here for the baby’s birth anymore, mostly just because I have stopped thinking about it and have completely put the whole experience out of my head for now. I’m doing that with a lot of things. I’m supposed to get things ready for the baby, like pick what room I want to stay in and set up and move around furniture in there, wash the baby clothes with the baby detergent, organize them and put them away in the right places. I am doing none of this, I did go through all the clothes and separate them by size, but that’s it so far. I just don’t want to think about it because it all leads back to khaled and whether he will be here or not. He was supposed to be here to help me do this stuff and we were supposed to know where we would be living by now. Instead blah blah blah, it’s beyond anyone’s control so what can I say except screw it and I’m not thinking about it anymore. I’m still working, I have two more weeks to go. They aren’t going by fast enough though. My job is so boring, knowing it will be over soon is really the only way I get through it. I don’t know how the people who work there permanently are happy with it. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow before work so I gotta get some sleep. Goodnightttttttt. Monday, 28 August 2006
Work is going well, I’ve been working on my own for the last couple days, which is nice. It’s really tiring though working so many days after each other. I mean there really isn’t anything that makes me tired at work, it’s just like staying awake all day or something. I don’t know exactly what it is but I’m just tired. I’m going to give it some time, maybe I just need to adjust, and if I don’t I’ll see what I’m going to do when I get to that point. I know it isn’t good for me to be tired, and that I’m supposed to take naps and stuff. I did say before it was only a 5 week temp job but I doubt anyone is going to tell me not to work anymore after 5 weeks, because they have like no staff, 4 people just quit because they are starting school. So I think it’s probably up to me when I want to leave.
There’s some new news on Mr. Missing in action. The embassy opened up immigration visa processing again. That means no more going to Greece or anywhere else nonsense, we are trying to see when he can get an appointment. He should be able to get one in the next couple weeks, which is fine now that I’m not worrying about him day and night, and a few weeks from now still leaves enough time for him to be a little settled in here before the baby is born. I’m in denial about this too, I’m in denial about everything. Khaled… coming here… to America…… no this is too weird, not happening. Baby… not going to be in my stomach anymore… not happening. Me… having to get it out of there…. Not happening. I like this denial game, its fun. No but seriously, that stuff I mentioned, not happening…
I saw that Al Gore global warming movie today, it was informative but he didn’t talk enough about fixing the problem, fixing the problem was literally like just an afterthought. I guess if I was a normal everyday joe I wouldn’t know half that stuff but since I’m smart I already had an idea of what he was talking about so I got bored pretty quickly, I wanted to know what we can do about it and he didn’t explain it to me. Instead he mentioned it at the end and then they put some tips up in writing with the credits along with a website to go to, at that point everyone had already left. Let’ face it Bill or Al whatever your name is, people went to see the movie because they wanted you to tell them how they can fix it, and instead you turned it into a chance to talk about your life and how dedicated to the cause you are, you blew it Al. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still informative and raises awareness of how the planet is going downhill fast. It just could have been presented differently I think.
Ok so that was the highlight of my weekend, mostly I sat around and moped. I think I’m having hormonal imbalances or something because I’ve become way too sensitive and keep crying for practically no reason. It’s kind of funny actually. I talked to khaled on the phone for about an hour so that was nice too.
Tomorrow back to work…
Posted by hebaandkhaled at 7:40 AM NZT
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Updated: Monday, 28 August 2006 4:42 PM NZT Friday, 18 August 2006
I got a job working in the call center at Nellie Mae (the student loan company). I started yesterday and by the end of the day today I was already on the phone and had the whole job down flat. Seems like the people who work there actually think their job is challenging, but trust me it isn’t, maybe the easiest job I’ve ever had. It’s a temp job for 5 weeks, which is good because I can only work for another 5 weeks anyways. The pay is good enough and I really have nothing to spend money on so by 5 weeks I’ll hopefully have saved up a good amount of money for when baby comes. Am I really going to have this baby? I’m in denial big time. What does one do with a baby after they have it? Do I really have to like take care of it and stuff? This is really confusing and I think he better stay in my stomach because I’m psycho and it isn’t good to have a psycho mother.
He is getting to be a big baby though, I can tell because my stomach feels so tight and I can’t eat too much because there’s apparently no room for my stomach. Also like a million times a day I feel like my bladder will burst so I run to the bathroom just to like pee barely anything, so apparently no room for my bladder to have anything in it either. A baby has taken over my body, ahhhhhhhhh.
I wanted to write about some more stuff, but I’m falling asleep while typing. I have a doctor’s appointment before work tomorrow too I just remembered.
Wednesday, 9 August 2006
I finally got to talk to someone in charge of visas to Lebanon who knows what he is talking about. He didn’t tell me really what I wanted to hear but he answered all my questions and explained different processes to me without being rude and treating me like I’m stupid. Basically the only option for Khaled is to transfer his immigration case to Athens, Greece. But it doesn’t take as long as I was told it would for transferring to Syria though, so that is good. It might take up to 4 weeks for the transfer but the processing is only about 10 days. It’s complicated because he has to get a visa to Greece, which we already checked on, and it is possible if he has a letter from the embassy confirming that he has a case in Athens and blah blah blah. And more complicated because once in Athens he has to get a medical exam to take with him at his appointment, he had this medical exam in Lebanon already and paid $140.00 for it. There is some rule that says each embassy only takes exams from its own panel doctors or something. I don’t think it makes sense really because we used Beirut’s panel doctor, why should Greece’s doctor be any better than Lebanon’s doctor, aren’t they both American embassy affiliated, blahhh sometimes things are so stupid and pointlessly complicated. They are taking the whole case from Lebanon, why should they just leave out this one silly thing? One more big complication. How the hell is Khaled going to wander around Athens, Greece all by himself for like a week when he knows only minimal English which doesn’t get him far because the people there also only know minimal English!? At first in my insanity I thought this would be a big deal, but now I think he will be ok. He knows enough English to get food in a restaurant, or ask how much this or that is. I think he will be ok, it might be hard and he might even get lost on some occasion, but if he has all the addresses written down for the different places he needs to go to, he can just get in a taxi and give them the address to where he is supposed to be. He’s smart, he’ll figure it out. I bet you he’ll even find someone Lebanese to be friends with after a day or two since I hear that there are a lot of Lebanese people in Greece. So there are some final things I am thinking about and we are going to make the decision to request the transfer or not maybe by Friday. Yesterday I had an ultrasound, everything is good allhamdulilah, even though I can’t seem to shake this something is going to happen feeling these days. I just don’t believe that everything will be ok, and I don’t believe that everything is ok now, even though the doctor’s, midwives, ultrasound people, all keep telling me everything is. I don’t think they know anything, every time I go to an appointment I feel that I’m humoring them. I’m a psycho I know, and I know it’s “normal” to feel this way right now, but I don’t care, it isn’t normal. Ok enough of that. I got a look at the baby’s face, he’s got chubby cheeks and his dad’s chin. The chin was small almost insignificant concern for me because a lot of people in Khaled’s family have indented chins (butt-chin) and it’s fine for them but I don’t want it anywhere near my kids. Khaled has the same defined chin as the indented chin just without the indent, and it seems little Khaled may have the same chin which is nice because it is nice without the indent. He just has a normal cute baby face, where you can’t really tell what’s from whom, the chin is the only thing that is clear. I was surprised by the chubby cheeks though, I don’t know why maybe because I don’t feel like there is a chubby baby in there. I like this baby. Khaled and me talked about a couple names on the phone, I think there is actually like 2 or 3 names that we both like but nothing that seems to fit 100%. I keep calling the baby Khaled, I don’t know if this is because of having a lack of Khaled in my life or if that’s what the baby’s name is. Khaled said that’s not funny because that means I want him to die or something, like if the dad dies than you name the son after him. I swear that’s not what I had in mind, the baby just seems in my mind like a piece or a little version of Khaled so it seems natural that the name fits. I think my writing has really been not that good lately, I like struggle through every post. All I know is that I go through phases where I can either write or I can’t. I think it has to do with me not trying to loose control of my feelings right now because there is way too many of them right now and I don’t want to open Pandora’s Box or release the Hoover dam. Trust me its better this way… Wednesday, 2 August 2006
I had a boring doctor’s appointment yesterday if anyone was wondering what ever happened to this being a baby blog. I guess I have one every two weeks from now on, and I have an ultrasound scheduled for this Tuesday. I like ultrasounds they are much better than just listening to the heartbeat on that little machine. So my weight is good, my blood pressure is fine, and the baby has a noisy heartbeat. That’s all I ever find out at these appointments, it should be enough but since I’m psycho it isn’t. I know it is unrealistic to expect an ultrasound at every appointment but that is what used to happen in Lebanon (only because it was a high risk doctor). My stomach is getting pretty round this last week and feels like it weighs a ton. I can’t bend over too easily anymore and I can’t lean forward comfortably when I’m sitting anymore. I think I’m in denial though, like umm no I don’t have a stomach that doesn’t let me move around freely, I’m a ballerina, ya a ballerina that’s what I look like. Blah Khaled needs to see this, I imagine he would get a laugh out of it. Speaking of Mr. Missing in action, he’s never going to get here and I don’t know what I can do to get him here before the baby is born. The embassy in Lebanon is conveniently not processing visas until further notice. I asked if I could transfer his case to the embassy in Damascus, Syria which is the next closest embassy. They said the transfer takes 4 weeks and then an additional wait of maybe 6 weeks, in case you can’t count that is ten weeks. That doesn’t work because I have 10 more weeks till the baby is born. The more I think about it the more I go crazy, this isn’t possible, this isn’t happening. I am an American citizen and I have been married for 3 years and we have kids together, so it’s not like I’m some green card scammer or some shit. This is legit and they know it so just give him the effing stamp and get it over with already. I hate how that damned embassy thinks they are so important. Gag. I have the right to have my husband with me, we’ve filed everything they asked us to file and paid all the money they said to pay, all 570 dollars of it, so now I think the least they could do is take care of their part. I’m planning on just freaking out on every available person in Massachusetts and at the embassy until someone fixes this for me I’m not going to let the government tell me there is nothing they can do for now. That isn’t an option. They made me leave my husband so that I could file papers and I don’t care if the whole world is being blown up it’s there responsibility to carry through with things they start. Having this baby by myself is just not an option. He’s staying in there till Khaled gets here and that’s final… Ok I’m done being erratic. I went swimming today, it’s funny because we have a pool but for some reason I never feel like going swimming, even sometimes I get myself up and make myself go there and end up just putting my feet in and not going in. The rare times that I do get in though I always love it, so why don’t I do it more often? I don’t know. Today I was motivated to swim by the heat which was really too much to handle yesterday and today. My sisters and brothers camped out next to the ac in the living room last night, it was funny to see them all scattered all over the floor and couches this morning. Blah blah nothing interesting. Monday, 24 July 2006
Today has been a rough day for no reason in particular. I just woke up this way. I hate days like this. Then I watched “What Dreams May Come” on TV, which is like one of those movies that you just cry the whole time. Stupid movies. I went food shopping with my mom which maybe redeemed my sanity a bit by just getting me out of the house so I would stop moping around and being grumpy. I talked to Khaled on the phone, he was at his sister’s house and the line was all choppy, frustrating because I really felt like just talking to him as if we weren’t a million miles apart. I really wish he was here not even because of all the bombings and stuff, just because it’s been too long. I’m not able to be rational with this, I just keep trying to pretend there is nothing gnawing at my heart.
There is this war, it’s making me so crazy. I just want them to get it over with already. My nerves are shot, and this is me sitting a million miles away. I can’t imagine what the people in Lebanon are feeling. Whatever I do I just keep thinking like oh I’m doing (insert activity) while everyone is scared and people are dieing in Lebanon, and I look up at the skies and I know they are safe and I feel like I don’t deserve to be this safe if everyone in the world isn’t. Everything from looking out the window at the trees to driving down the street makes me feel guilty. It doesn’t make me thankful of where I am, just bitter that more than half the world is in a state of confusion and fear, a lot of it caused by this place that brings me this safety. Ughhhhhhhh I wish Americans would just wake up. Look around you, see what is happening in the world, or just start with here, our country is a mess and we have no real government representation. Our country is fucked and we can’t fix it, or anything in the world, unless everyone wakes up from this sleepy suburban stupor.
My writing today was useless so I’m just going to stop before I say anything else stupid. Thursday, 20 July 2006
The link to the petition is at the bottom of this page, http://fromisraeltolebanon.info/
If you don’t get through the first time keep trying because I believe they are having some problems because of the high amount of people visiting the page.
Please sign this petition…
Tuesday, 18 July 2006
I wasn’t posting before because the wireless network thing on my laptop wasn’t working. I could have posted at the regular computer but I don’t like writing at it for some reason.
All this Lebanon stuff is so crazy, 200 people or more dead just like that, a bombed airport that took a lot of work and 600 million dollars to build, dozens of bridges and roads gone. All this to a country that has gone through a vicious civil war and fought so hard to pick itself back up and rebuild over the last 15 years. Just when we felt like Lebanon was getting better, that it was finally almost going to be a real country, all our dreams are smashed.
I’ve been talking to khaled and he is ok but I am still worried about him because he still has to come and go to Beirut where it is the most dangerous. He said until something gets hit that obstructs his way to work he has to keep going, and even then he still has to go to the nearest police station to tell them he cant make it to his station and see if they can use him. If they need him they will let him work there or they will tell him to go home and come back the next day at a certain time to check in.
Its mind boggling to me how this can be happening and no one in the world will help. The prime minister went on T.V. choking back tears begging the U.N. to step in. Only a Lebanese person who has seen the 30 year old bullet holes left over from the civil war that still mar a lot of Lebanese buildings, can know why he was crying. He was crying for the 200 plus people who died in the last days, while remembering the 200,000 that died in the civil war. He was crying for a blown up airport, while remembering his blown up friend, Rafik Harirri who funded the building of the airport that gave the Lebanese people freedom to come and go to their own country without having to be scrutinized by Syria first. He was crying for a smashed economy that had done the unthinkable by putting itself back together piece by piece against all odds. Just to see it all blown away by people who only care about themselves. Whether it be Israel or Hezbollah they are both greedy selfish people who only care about themselves and have no regard for human life.
It’s a weird twist that I am in America and Khaled is in Lebanon. If I had waited until his sister’s wedding I would have been stuck there until the bombings were over and then by that time I would have been too pregnant to even get on a plane. I’m tough, I could have handled it, or ignored it very well. But obviously god has something else planned for me, Khaled, and baby. Though I’m confused as to what the reasons are, I know in the end it will work out and then I will know why.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006 25 weeks 3 days
I’ve been feeling bad these couple days. I just feel kind of inadequate or something, like I’m too boring to be alive or too petty or too ridiculous. I miss Khaled too much and it just feels like the time is too long until he gets here and it needs to get shorter somehow. If I could just know how to talk on the phone like normal people it would be a lot easier, but I hate the phone and everything about it. I miss him and wait for him to get home from work every two days so that I can talk to him. I will have things to tell him and then I get on the phone and just draw a blank and then he thinks that I don’t want to talk to him or something and gets upset. It doesn’t help that every time I say something I hear my idiot voice echoed back at me from the stupid phone connection. How are we supposed to keep doing this for like two months? Or more than two months I should say because I can start counting the two months when he files his damn visa papers.
I suggested to my little sisters the other day that we go to the Charles river and see the fireworks on the 4th and they were excited I guess, I was too but I was a little concerned that I would get tired with all the standing and walking. Then it rained so I didn’t want to go anymore because that means you can’t sit down in the grass because it will be all mud and disgusting, and the trains would be moving even slower then they already were. After some disagreeing back and forth, we didn’t go. Instead we went to blockbuster and rented some movies and that’s it.
I saw one of my old friends in blockbuster and he started talking to me and invited me to some barbeque they were at where there were some other old friends. It was really weird and I definitely made an idiot out of myself while trying not to make an idiot out of myself while telling him I wasn’t really interested. It’s funny how teenagers that seem to be going mostly in the same direction in life then grow up and all do all sorts of different things and go in completely different directions. I am still the same and so is that friend I saw, but our lives are so different then they used to be, there is no connection whatsoever. I’m not sad about it because I know I’ve made good decisions but I do still feel like I love these people so it’s kind of bittersweet. Especially when you see they and they just act like you never went anywhere, and its genuine expression of genuine feeling in a world where no one genuinely wants to see anyone.
Posted by hebaandkhaled at 2:37 AM NZT
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Updated: Wednesday, 19 July 2006 2:52 PM NZT
Sunday, July 02, 2006 25 weeks
Over the last week we finished filling out all Khaled’s visa forms and sent them with some people going to Lebanon. Somehow I still don’t believe I finished them. I keep thinking I’m forgetting something but I know I checked it a million times and included stuff they didn’t even ask for just in case it might help. I’m so scared they are going to find some stupid reason to reject his application and we will have to start the whole process again and he won’t be here in time for my due date. Insha’allah that won’t happen.
Being a police officer in Lebanon means that you sell your soul to the government and forfeit all rights to a passport unless they give you permission to have it during a certain time. So stupid. So khaled put in the request to get his passport like a week ago and today he finds out the guy in charge of passports was on vacation, he signed them today and has to send them to another place. They haven’t even left his department yet. That means still another 12-15 days until he gets his passport, which sucks because he has everything else all done and waiting just for the stupid passport so that he can go to the embassy. Isn’t it ridiculous that he can’t keep his own passport with him unless they give him permission? Ughhhh everything is always so stupidly complicated, I feel stupid even writing about it because it is so stupid.
Time is going by so quickly since I got to the states, I like it. Seems like everyday pretty much there is some reason to go somewhere, and nowhere. We were helping my sister Marwa to move the last couple days, and before that I was working on Khaled’s papers. I have to get my drivers permit, fix my insurance stuff, and get a job. I should be practicing my driving in this time and be ready to get my drivers license by the time I do all that other stuff, so I’m sure I won’t be bored anytime soon. I really should get on top of that insurance stuff right away because I just realized that in 10 days it will have been a month since my last appointment and I normally have an appointment every month.
When my sister moved she gave me all her sons newborn clothes and stuff since she isn’t planning on needing them anytime soon. It was nice going through them and picturing my baby wearing them. It kind of gave my like a new connection to the baby or something. It made having a boy not so scary anymore either, like hey look boys aren’t weird and they can wear cute things too. My sister has a shoe obsession for her son so there is like a million pairs of shoes with the clothes. Little shoes are so funny to look at. I’m so bad at putting on little kids shoes though, I remember never being able to put on any doll’s shoes when I was little.
Posted by hebaandkhaled at 2:16 AM NZT
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Updated: Wednesday, 19 July 2006 2:51 PM NZT
Wednesday, June 14, 2006 22 weeks 3 days
On Monday I had my last Lebanese doctor’s appointment, everything was good allhamdulilah. I gained 2 ½ kilo’s which is like 5 pounds or something. So for once I guessed right and khaled overestimated. Anyways the weight issue doesn’t scare me anymore so it’s good. The doctor did a morphological scan whatever the hell that is, it just means a more in depth ultrasound. He looks at the brain fluid, the heart chambers, stomach, kidneys, bladder, bones, spine, blah blah blah. Each one gets its own neat little picture to put in the file. He was asking if I wanted this ultrasound done because he said they will probably do it again in America, but I did it anyways just so I could make sure everything was ok from now because I don’t know when I will actually see a doctor again probably not for a couple months till I get my insurance stuff together. Now I can do that and take my time without worrying too much.
It was a long ultrasound like almost an hour, hehe an hour of live ultrasound action. So the doctor is moving the scanner thingy around checking different things, and he gets to the fork in the road and asks me if I want to know the sex, I was thinking about whether to say yes or no, and I looked at the screen and it was so obvious from the picture that I already knew so I just said “oh I see it already” and he wrote on the screen “BABY BOY” and khaled is looking at us confused so I called him over and told him to read the screen. He just smiled, didn’t really say anything. I was really shocked though when I looked up and saw a you know what between that fork in the road. I think I was really convinced it was a girl and I spent the whole next hour like confused. I’m still not convinced, even though I saw it with my own two eyes. Then I after that hour I started worrying, what the hell am I going to do with a boy? What do boys do anyways? Can I really raise a boy? I mean I can’t even pick out a name for a boy. And boys can’t wear dresses and frilly socks. Allhamdulilah anyways that the baby is healthy and I like boys just as much as girls, but its uncharted territory that’s all. When I told khaled my thoughts he was laughing for like 10 minutes till I had to punch him in the arm. He also laughed at me because I picked out a thousand girls name’s and not even one serious boy’s name. This name thing is really going to be a challenge, I can find a couple I like but khaled doesn’t like any of them, and I don’t like any of the name’s he likes. We’ll have to agree on something though before I leave. I’m going to pull up all the Islamic baby names pages and we can go over them together inshallah Allah will show us the right name for our baby without too much hassle.
We also saw some facial features in the ultrasound, just from the nose down. It was a cute little nose a little upturned, and he was opening and closing his mouth for some unknown reason, so that was cute too. Just another 18 weeks, doesn’t seem so long to me.
Posted by hebaandkhaled at 2:12 AM NZT
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Updated: Wednesday, 19 July 2006 2:46 PM NZT Sunday, 11 June 2006
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